FOR the last few months, I have been waking up between 4am and 5am EVERY morning.

No matter what time I go to bed, I am still waking up before birdsong.

It isn't worry waking me, because life is good.

It isn't the dog, because he is sleeping like a log in his advancing years.

It isn't mid-afternoon napping, because I no longer have time for such luxuries.

It is however, getting on my nerves. I am tired.

And while I know the early bird catches the worm and is synonymous with the genius gene, I still want my eight hours back.

So I started Googling and it appears I have Advanced Sleep Phase Disorder.

The solution?

Go to bed very late and hope for the best (I cannot keep my eyes open past 9.30pm)

Take a melatonin tablet either before bed or when one wakes in the early hours (Oh I have loads of those hanging around and even if I was able to get a prescription, surely I would be hopelessly groggy when I have to wake at 6am if I took one at 4am)?

So last night I took matters into my own hands.

I fell into bed at 9.37pm and fell asleep immediately before waking at 3.10am.

This was very disappointing, so I got up (I was wide awake) and made a cup of tea and looked at the stars for 20 minutes.

I got back into bed and drifted off while listening to my meditation CD. But a massive thud woke me, and the heinous cat had climbed through the open window.

I closed my eyes presuming he would curl up and nap on my bed but no. He has learnt dexterity and pulled the duvet from my face before hitting my cheek with his paws. I am not exaggerating.

So at 4.20am I fed him turkey pouch, which kept him quiet.

I slumped back to bed and basically dozed until my alarm went off at 6am.

Tonight I will try going to bed at 10pm, keep all the windows closed and hope for the best.